However, constant criticism and belittling of a significant other are NOT healthy, and over time can lead to a significant loss of self-esteem.Įxample: “Why are you so disorganized? I can always count on you to ruin our nights out!” 5. It’s OK to provide constructive criticism when requested on occasion being honest with your partner is healthy. It can be subtle, like turning situations around and putting the blame on the abused partner.Įxample: “If you really loved me you wouldn’t say or do that.” 4. Manipulation, on the other hand, can be more difficult to detect. Sometimes it can be easy to spot a controlling personality, especially when someone continuously pushes their partner to do and say things they are not always comfortable with.
It can start off funny, which is why it often goes undetected, but over time condescension becomes belittling.Įxample: “No wonder you are always moaning about your weight, look how clean your plate is!” 3. Light sarcasm and a sarcastic tone of voice should not be a constant part of your interactions with a partner.This can also include being the constant butt of your partner’s jokes. In a verbally abusive relationship, the abuser will yell until they get what they want.Įxample: “You idiot, now you have made me angry!” 2. In a healthy relationship, partners step away from an argument or try to talk through the issue. Arguments that always resort to yelling and the use of aggressive phrases in a conversation are all signs that your communication with your partner is anything but healthy. This includes being called names and/or being shouted at on a regular basis. This type of verbal abuse is probably the easiest one to recognize. Here are the 11 most common verbal abuse patterns to look out for in a relationship: 1. If you can’t tell whether your partner is being “funny” or “ belittling ,” here are a few tell-tale signs you are being diminished in your relationship. For example, verbal abuse includes being subjected to name-calling on a regular basis, constantly feeling demeaned or belittled, and being subjected to the silent treatment by a partner. And there are many subtle forms verbal abuse can take, making it even harder to recognize. Ultimately, verbal abuse is a means of maintaining power and control over another in the relationship. But that doesn’t make it any less distressing or mentally exhausting for people on the receiving end. Many people who experience it rationalize the abuse in their mind and don’t even realize it’s an unhealthy form of communication.
For people experiencing it, verbal abuse is often isolating since it chips away at your self-esteem making it more difficult to reach out to a friend.
Verbal abuse usually happens in private where no one else can intervene and eventually becomes a regular form of communication within a relationship. It’s a lot more calculating and insidious, causing people on the receiving end to question themselves, wonder if they are overreacting, or even blame themselves. Verbal abuse happens out of nowhere in a relationship. Written by Writer’s Corps member Jade Anna Hughes
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